They aren't your TRUE friends.

Over the Spring season of my job...that is my second job as Bicycle Safety Educator, and not my first (Mommy to three kids, Gabby, Bella and Aaron), I've developed a love-hate relationship with my coffee-maker.  Even though it's not as pretty as our old one, it got too creepy to think of it as a man.  Men just don't anticipate female needs as well, and when I would shower it with praise, it felt a little like cheating on Aaron.  So I named her "Chloe" and that was that.

Chloe has gotten me through some rough times.  I programmed her to start chugging early on those cold and snowy bike rodeo days.  And she'd always be there to have a little somethin' somethin' at the end of the day that I could pour over some ice in a tumbler and pretend I was a character from Mad Men.  My impressions of the characters are particularly funny since I've never seen the show.

But there have been days that Chloe has let me down.  Days I SWORE I programmed her and she deliberately DEprogrammed herself just to spite me for not cleaning her in three months or something equally as trivial.  Days that she begrudgingly participated in our symbiotic relationship (her supplying me with what is undoubtedly my equivalent to Meth. and me showering her with praise in furtive whispers, early in the morn so as not to wake our girls), only to curse me later in my car.

You see, Chloe is not the only passive aggressive friend in our house.  We have another spider in our tangled web: "Zoey"--my fickle travel coffee mug that is GUARANTEED NOT TO LEAK.  I am convinced that the two of them plot against me on a nightly basis after I go to bed at 1 in the morning. 

I imagine the conversation going something along these lines:

"Pssst.  ZOEY!"
"WHAT CHLOE?"  I'm drying! (in the counter-top dish drainer) What do you need?"
"Just wondering.  Did she clean you tonight...I mean, really take the time to CLEAN you properly?"
"You know the answer to that.   Did she clean you?"
"No.  And I hate the way she punches my buttons and slams my lid because she's in a rush.  No thought whatsoever as to what we might need or want."
"What are you thinking?"
"How about I deprogram myself and you spill all over her work bag the first sharp corner she takes."
"I'm in.  I'll really soak her hat, scarf, coat and gloves since it's supposed to snow tomorrow."
"Sweet.  Goodnight, Zoey.  It's nice having true friends."

And that is that.  I did 5 schools this spring and this happened at least once at every school.

I'm almost done with work.  I have only a few odd days left here and there.  But I realized this morning that over the last few months, in addition to neglecting sleep, laundry, exercise, and at times my family; I've most certainly neglected my friends.  And not the coffee-providing ones.  My true friends.  The ones I miss talking to at the busstop.  The ones who tell me they like my fugly haircut.  The ones who have seen my babies grow.  The ones who listen to me vent.  The ones who laugh at my inappropriate humor.  The ones who's kids I adore and who make me almost cry when I see that they've lost another tooth.  I miss them.  I miss being there for them.  Baking for them.  Cheering them up and cheering them on.

How did I come to this realization?  I spent 3 minutes having an in-depth conversation with Chloe this morning.  Three minutes talking parent strategies to an inanimate object.  It's time to bake some muffins, and get back to my peeps.  Fellow Mommies, let's unite!!  School is almost over, life if busy, projects are due, work is pressing, but take some time today to show your true friends how much you love them.  Put it on the top of  your "to-do" list or your "calendar"...which if it's like mine, its undoubtedly stained with coffee. 

Your own personal "Zoey"

The Cranky Tanky

Be a friend, minus the crank.